Friday, October 14, 2005

Esquire Magazine: My Outsourced Life

Esquire Magazine: My Outsourced Life
Funny article about a freelance writer/editor who hired personal assistants in india to help with his professional and personal life. They were so good, they even stopped him from putting his foot in his mouth with his wife. Starts with an email from the author to his assistant Asha:

Hello Asha,
My wife got annoyed at me because I forgot to get cash at the automatic bank machine. . . . I wonder if you could tell her that I love her, but gently remind her that she too forgets things — she has lost her wallet twice in the last month. And she forgot to buy nail clippers for Jasper.

I can't tell you what a thrill I got from sending that note. It's pretty hard to get much more passive-aggressive than bickering with your wife via an email from a subcontinent halfway around the world.

The next morning, Asha CC'd me on the email she sent to Julie.

Do understand your anger that I forgot to pick up the cash at the automatic machine. I have been forgetful and I am sorry about that.
But I guess that doesn't change the fact that I love you so much. . . .
P. S. This is Asha mailing on behalf of Mr. Jacobs.

As if that weren't enough, she also sent Julie an e-card. I click on it: two teddy bears embracing, with the words "Anytime you need a hug, I've got one for you. . . . I'm sorry."

Damn! My outsourcers are too friggin' nice! They kept the apology part but took out my little jabs. They are trying to save me from myself. They are superegoing my id. I feel castrated.

Julie, on the other hand, seems quite pleased: "That's nice, sweetie. I forgive you."
Via Waxy

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